


Healing is a bitch

by Robotsandshizz



Series: Melancholy joy with the DPD squad [9]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Broken Heart, Character Death, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Whump, Connor Deserves Happiness, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Deviant CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Dorks in Love, F/M, Funerals, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed Redemption, Good Friend Tina Chen, Healing, Heavy Angst, Love, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Reader Deserves Happiness, Reader-Insert, Soft Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Soft Gavin Reed, Soft Hank Anderson, Tina Chen & Gavin Reed Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robotsandshizz/pseuds/Robotsandshizz
Summary: A noise.A shout of your name.A drop.It was over.
Relationships: Connor (Detroit: Become Human) & Reader, Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Reader, Connor/Reader, Connor/You
Series: Melancholy joy with the DPD squad [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961950
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Healing is a bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so uhm,, i’ve been in not the greatest of moods. Ive just been... blah is the best way to explain it. So i decided hey, why don’t i just vent write? So once again, here is a heavy fic for those of you who enjoy my angst. I hope you enjoy.

Love. It can in many different languages and ways to say it. It can be used platonically, romantically, or as a way to express your passion for something.

It expressed your passion for Connor.

He was your pride and joy. Everything you did, he was right there with you. And everything you enjoyed he was there to support you through it. If you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was that shoulder.

You loved him.

Today, you had decided to go to one of those.. what were they called? Outdoor malls? Whatever they were, that's where you went. The two of you walking on the peach-colored brick of the mall, passing other civilians. The weird stares you used to get stopped awhile ago since android and human relationships were not very common. Still, you both got them because of Connor's history. But it never bothered him anymore as much as it used to, since he was a different person then. And you're happy he isn't insecure about that anymore.

You remembered the night he first broke down about it. That was the first time you've ever seen him cry. And you held him in your arms all night until he finally calmed into a rest mode.

"Hey," Connor knocked his buckles against yours. "You okay? You kind of.. zoned out." He said with a concerning smile. You smiled brightly at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." You said and grabbed his hand lacing your fingers together. "Come on, there's a store I really want to go to. They have these fun glasses I really need to see on you," You teased as he snorted. "These glasses aren't going to be the same ones that Hank got me for Christmas that one year, will they?" Connor stated emotionless but you could hear the sass behind his words. You failed to suppress your grin as you looked forward with your head held high, letting the midday sun beat onto your skin.

"Oh, definitely not. They're much, much better." You giggled and you spun to face Connor. "Come on, I bet I can get there faster than you." You commented with all seriousness. "Oh really?" Connor stopped walking and put his hand on his hip. "Yep," You popped the p at the end of your sentence. You then slowly started taking a step backward, "And it's all because I'm going to get a head start!" You yelled at started sprinting. Everyone around you looking at the two of you strangely. Some laughing and some judging silently.

Sure, it was childish. But who cares, you were having fun.

You heard Connor call your name but you kept jogging towards the store at the other end of the path. Your feet hitting the pavement with every pulse in your head. People turned to you, but now... looking behind you? Pointing, screaming, yelling. People now running with you, away from whatever was behind you.

A noise.

A shout of your name.

A drop.

It was over.

You spun to see a crowd rushing over to whatever happened. You couldn't hear anything, your heart still pounding in your head. Your vision going blurry and panic filling your chest. The crowd parted when seeing you running and what you saw nearly made you pass out.

Connor.

He was on the ground sputtering blue blood trying to inhale as much air as he could. A wound of a bullet directly to his thirium pump. "SOMEBODY CALL ANDROID MEDICAL!" Someone shouted as multiple people around you searched instantly for their phone and started to frantically call the police and ambulances. You dropped down to your knees to hold him instantly.

"Connor! Connor please baby-" You started, tears brimming your eyes and dropping down onto him. "You're going to be okay I promise you're going to be-" He cut you off with a grab to your hand cupping his jaw. He called your name the softest he's ever said before. His voice, it scared you. You've never heard it like this before. It filled you with dread.

"Just... stop." He muttered. "'m not gonna make it," He continued. Your heart dropped. "H-how much time left! We can try-" He coughed and more blood choked him. "Not long enough," He gulped. "'Love you, 'kay?" You let him speak. So this was it, this was the end. "Hank 'n Sumo, and Tina," he snorted. "'Ven Gavin." He coughed again in pain. "'M gonna miss you... so.." He couldn't finish as his eyes fluttered closed.

Blinking, red, then yellow, then... off.

You didn't even register yourself yelling his name. You were holding his form in your arms as you yelled and screamed for him to come back to you. "WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN MEDICS! " You screamed and continued to sob into Connor's once lively body.

Your lover. Your life, your pride, and joy. The shoulder to cry on was gone.

~...X...~

Two weeks later was Connor's official funeral. The whole DPD came. Even the officers who didn't like him. A pristine white casket with an American flag draped over it. Pictures of him were around it that friends had taken with him. There's was one of him, Fowler, and Hank the first day he had gotten his detective title back. There was another photo which was a selfie of him and Tina with the pair of glasses Hank gave him at Christmas. Another one of him with Nines and Sixty. Sixty was giving him the finger while Nines was mid smirk watching Connor give Sixty a smug grin.

But the picture that really made your healing process hurt more was the picture Connor had taken with you on your first date. And it was collaged with the other dates, and then the day he proposed, and then the wedding. Seeing how happy he was in every photo made your heart clench.

A soft touch on your shoulder broke you out of your silent trance. You met Gavins' soft eyes, a softness you've never seen that often. He pulled you into a tight hug and held you while your form shook in sobs.

~...X...~

Your first day back to work was probably the hardest day you've ever had in a while.

You were put on desk duty until you were ready to go back out onto the field. You didn't understand why. You were perfectly capable of doing fieldwork as you weren't injured.

You sighed and turned your neck to relieve the tension it had and saw someone walk through the bullpen and... sit at Connor's desk. Everyone paused and looked at you. Officer Person, who was a good friend of yours came up behind you, "Who's that?" She spoke reading your exact thoughts. "I'm... not sure." You said exhaling softly.

That desk has been empty ever since...

It was strange. Seeing someone other than Connor at that desk. For almost five years now nobody sat there but him. But now, it was some rookie officer.

Anger filled you. But then guilt overrode that anger. You can't be angry at this person. It wasn't their fault that it was Connor's desk. And they can't do anything about the fact he was gone.

You saw them place a box onto the desk and open one of the drawers. They paused and picked something up in it. A small shiny object passed through their index and thumb.

Connors coin.

You watched them drop the coin and it rolled all the way to your desk. You needed that coin, you needed to have it. You needed-

Rushing over before the new guy could get the coin you picked it up swiftly and held it in your palm. He came up to you and paused. "Excuse me, miss. Uhm, that was mine." He said and the anger that was replaced once filled your veins. "No, it's mine." You said and held it tightly in your palm. It digging into your skin. "It was in the drawers of my desk." He explained. "I believe it's mine."

Your heart pounded as the anger become more aggressive. "It's not yours. And neither is the desk." You spoke lowly. Your eyes still not looking into his. The man scoffed and then huffed a laugh. "Look, I'm new here. Just give me the damn quarter and I can be on my way. I don't want to cause any trouble." You finally faced him. "You've already caused enough trouble," You hissed. "Leave me _alone_." You argued and the man grumbled something and went back to put his things back into Connor's desk.

Hank came rushing over to you. "Hey, what happened?" He inquired as you huffed and sat in your chair. Still rubbing the shiny piece of copper in your index finger and thumb. "Nothing." You said and pocketed the coin. Hank must've seen it and he sighed softly. "Kid-" You cut him off. "Hank, I'm _fine_." You growled sharply at him and you felt the pain in your sinuses, signaling you were going to cry.

You couldn't, not here.

But the more you tried to stop the tears, the more you thought of all the people staring. And all these thoughts of being a baby, and overreacting, and Connor.. and.. and Connor.... and how he would've been here.. how he would've,

how he would've...

Your eyes stung harder and harder as you felt the hot tears slip onto your eyelashes and down your face. Hank rushed to your side and picked you up out of your seat. "Wh-" He hushed you and walked you out of the precinct as your chest heaved and ached. He walked you all the way to his car and made you get in. He got in and then drove off without a word. You figured he was taking you home so now that you were out of sight you broke down.

Everywhere you looked you were reminded of Connor. There were small little pictures of him and Hank on the car's dashboard. The little dice Connor got Hank were hung on the mirror.

Hank moved a hand over and held it on your shoulder.

~...X...~

Back at Hank's house, he had sat you down on the couch and brought in a blanket to lay on you. "Hank what are you-" He cut you off with a large exhale. "Kid, you just lost... your husband. You're going through a hard time. You can't just... jump right into normal life again." He said softly. "It's how I process things, trust me I'll be okay I just need to move on and-" Hank began to shout. "Dammit," Hank yelled your name. " _Listen_ to me a minute! We.. we _all_ lost him. Fuck, he was a _son_ to me. But he was your lover. I took you here to do whatever the hell you want. You can take the longest naps of the century if you goddamn felt like it," He paused to take a breath. "Just, do what will make you feel better. Whether it's taking your anger out and shouting at me or... if you just need a hug. You need something, and I'm here for that." Hank spoke with a softness you weren't accustomed to hearing.

You looked into his eyes, to the floor, back to his eyes, then at your hands. "I... I think," You felt your throat get choked and tears well up into your eyes once again. "I think I need to see him again. I cant- Hank how will I live without him?" You brokenly spoke and looked into his soft eyes. "I was doing so horrible before and then he came into my life and-" You sobbed loudly but continued to talk. "He can't just... DO THAT! He _can't_!" You yelled and began to speak like you were speaking to Connor. "You _can't_ come into my life fix everything and leave! It doesn't fucking work that way! You always said we would do everything together! But you lied!" You screamed at nothing.

"And I'm so... _angry_ at you for that! I loved him... God, I loved him so much. You _can't_ just... you can't-" You broke down into full sobs as Hank was now pulling you into him and rubbing his hand up and down your back. "It's alright, get it out." He said softly into your hair.

Healing was a _bitch_.

~...X...~

Six months later you were slightly getting better. The guy who was at... his desk was called Dean. Most called him Dick though because of his personality. You apologized to him not too long ago about the quarter incident and he apologized back after finding out what happened to the person who last sat here.

Person had invited herself over this weekend to clean out some of his things from the house. Hank was bringing over some boxes too. And Tina decided to tag along as she was his best friend.

So now Person, Hank, Tina, and you were all going through certain things you'd want to keep, and you'd want to throw away or put into a box on a very high shelf that would never be seen unless absolutely necessary.

"Hey, I found this, do you want to keep it?" Person asked handing you a burgundy notebook. You've never seen this notebook before and waved her off with a maybe and decided to look through it.

Taking a seat on the bed, you opened the notebook. It looked like a picture album.

October 15th, 2040

It was a picture of everyone gathered around a bonfire. You remembered that night. It was a late birthday party for Gavin. You were all at his place for the night and held a 38th birthday party for him. Your eyes drifted to the little note by the picture. It was in Connor's little messy writing. “Gavins' birthday party, what an old man” Was placed next to the picture. You snorted and moved to the next photo.

It was a picture of you and him at the beach.

June 24th, 2041

There were a few smaller pictures of You placed next to the big picture of you and him on the sand with a warm pink and orange sky behind you. Your eyes wandered to the note beside the pictures and saw your name in neat cursive with a little heart next to it. You smiled and moved on to read the rest of the note. “And me at the beach. My second time and it was definitely better than last time we went.”

You felt that familiar ache in your chest again.

You flipped through the rest of the photos and got to... The one you took at the mall the day it happened. You don’t know how it even got in there but... it was there.

May 19th, 2042

You and Connor were at the food court when he snapped a surprise photo of you taking a sip of your pop. He had rested his head on top of yours making your eyes wide when he took the photo. His grin was abnormally wide which made his eyes crinkle. You went to look for a note but... there wasn’t one.

A wet drop dampened the picture which smudged it. “Oh no-“ You gasped and tried to dry it but smudged the picture more. “ _No!_ ” You yelled at the book and the colorful picture was now a smudge of black ink. Everyone who had left without your knowledge was now back. “Are you okay? We heard a yell,” Tina asked and you sobbed. “It... that was our last picture together. And it’s gone. My fucking tears ruined it.” You sniffled. Person gasped and then made an “aww” noise and held you tightly into your side.

“I’m so sorry,” She said but hummed in thought. “At least you still remember the picture. And that’s what matters, right?” She said as you sighed and nodded. Wiping your tears you smiled. “Yeah, yeah you’re right.” You replied.

“Oh hey, I found a big box Connor had with these strange notes he used to write. I wanted to show you! Come on,” Tina trailed off and walked into the living room. Person slowly walked away from you with an awkward shoulder pat and left. Hank looked at you with a nod and followed after her.

Healing was a bitch, but things would get better.

And things _did_ get better.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay just to clear some things up:
> 
> For starters, Connor is dead. I usually like to use the idea of androids being able to come back in a new body. And i probably should've clarified that in there?? But i didn't think about it until now, literal hours later. So basically lets just go with something like... Connor died because of someone shooting him obviously, and then he couldn't come back because no technology has been developed yet to store a deviant androids thought and feelings the same way they were into another android body without being reset.
> 
> I also wanted to mention how would you feel about a short story to this with trying to find his killer? I wouldn't mind doing that at all honestly. It wouldn't have any point to it but it would just be a mini series i guess. But yeah uhm,,, just thought i should clarify that love ya'll <3


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